WITHIN a week, I 'attended' and 'witnessed' two ludicrous weddings - on the big screen, that is.

Enjoyable, but ludicrous all the same.

In the new rom-com Made Of Honor, Patrick Dempsey plays a womanising bachelor who agrees to be his best gal pal's (Michelle Monaghan) maid of honour at her hastily arranged wedding to a Scottish blueblood (Kevin McKidd).

The catch is, he suddenly realises she's The One for him.

So, he tries all ways and means to thwart the nuptials from within and steal her for himself.

Made Of Honor is yet another example of Hollywood's romanticised fixation with interrupted or sabotaged nuptials, but even then, isn't that a little perverse?

In reality, calling off a wedding at the last minute and jilting your spouse-to-be at the altar for a suitor who creates a big showdown at the church is cruel, traumatic and sad.

Where's the romance or comedy in that? And why are we supposed to cheer for the 'bad' guys?

In most cases, what the third party does is an act of selfishness, not love.

Breaking up a couple after they've spent thousands on the event and just before they say 'I do' is also incredibly rude, of course.

And how can we empathise with an obviously foolish, self-serving bride who is prepared to devote her entire being to someone else 15 minutes ago and is now throwing herself into her 'true love's' arms?

Which brings me to yet another ludicrous part of the movie.

Which woman in her right mind would ask a man to be her maid of honour?

Gay man, yes.

Who better than to take charge of the bridal shower, bachelorette party, dress fittings, rehearsal dinners and provide the best support and entertainment while at it?

But straight man - are you kidding me? Not only do they probably not want to sort out the gift baskets on football night, but will they actually go the extra mile for someone they're not interested in sleeping with?

I'm going out on a limb here, but isn't that attractive long-time best male buddy with whom you have such perfect chemistry and share your deepest secrets supposed to be, well, the groom?

I asked my husband how he would feel if I had invited a straight male BFF (best friends forever) to be my maid of honour, to which he answered bluntly: 'Why don't you marry him instead then?'

I couldn't have agreed more - only because I'd have smacked him if he suggested that he make his cute female childhood companion his 'best woman'.

After all, there can be only one leading lady on our big day, right?

I'm convinced that a woman should always marry her best guy friend.

Any other in her life must stay a distant second because, as Billy Crystal said in When Harry Met Sally, 'men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way'.

I'm also convinced you should never marry a stranger you've known for under 24 hours in Sin City - of all places - just because your life sucks.

The movie What Happens In Vegas revolves around an uptight stockbroker (Cameron Diaz) and a jobless slacker (Ashton Kutcher) who meet in Las Vegas and, oops, get sloshed, hitched and laid - in that order.

Sobered up the next morning, they get mad and demand an annulment.

Unfortunately, there's a US$3million ($4m) slot-machine jackpot involved, so a judge sentences the mismatched, bickering newlyweds to 'six months hard marriage' before they can collect the fortune.

Again, like in Made Of Honor, you know how it's going to end for these two.

But what should we make out of 'true love' when it comes out of drunkenness and debauchery leading to marital vows that are treated like a joke?

Sure, it's funny for all of 10 seconds.

But it's also a faux romance that nobody should take a gamble on.

This article was first published in The New Paper on May 13, 2008.