A FRIEND of mine, well into the third year of a relationship, recently complained that she and her boyfriend weren't having sex often enough for her liking.
I delicately asked her what she considered adequate.
Once a day at least, was her reply. Which was barely, she wailed, what she was getting.
At the time, I conjured up a neutral response that did not include suggestions of The Rabbit, the iGasm and other such handy helpers.
But I began to be intrigued by the topic of expectations in the bedroom and how sexual dynamics are changing. Bad news for guys: As women find their voices, they aren't likely to shut up when it comes to their needs.
The thing is, women are getting a rude shock when it comes to how much their guys want it. That, or guys aren't thinking that women want sex as much as men do.
It's the latter idea that I wish to explore.
The common perception is that men are pretty much up for sex all the time. It's a stereotype that is true more often than not, says an article on sex drive on medical website WebMD.com.
Yet in studies like that of American author Michele Weiner Davis, women are proving to be on equal footing in the sexual department. In Weiner Davis' study of 1,000 married women, 60 per cent of them reported that they wanted at least as much, if not more, sex than their husbands.
Perhaps the only difference between the sexes when it comes to sexual appetite, notes Time magazine online, is that "setting and mood, as women know better than men, can make all the difference between arousal and annoyance".
So why are men (like my friend's boyfriend) clueless as to what - or more accurately, how much sex - their partners want?
After all, in today's climate where both genders in First World countries are enjoying a somewhat-balanced measure of equality, the stereotype of a woman being less sexual a creature than a man is gradually being debunked.
Women I know are passionate, love physical affection, and will not shy away from sexual encounters.
Those in committed relationships say that sex is an important factor in a relationship and are willing to work to make it a fulfilling experience for themselves and their partners.
Singles I know don't let their singlehood get in the way of enjoying the physical things in life.
One friend jokingly told me that it was unclear, in a long "one-night-stand" that could be almost construed as a relationship, just who was using who for sex. Both parties involved agreed to call it a draw and just enjoy each other.
In such a world, women - both singles and those in relationships - are going to demand more from their partners.
Does that put pressure on the opposite sex? Perhaps. But then it's time for men to sit up and take notice of what makes a woman tick, and what her needs and preferences are.
One thing to note, though, is that those in unequal sexual relationships - that is, one partner wanting sex more than the other - will undeniably be unsatisfied in the long run. It often leads to cheating or a marriage breakup, say experts.
Yet they also note that there is an ebb and flow in sex in long-term relationships.
Which means you can't afford to be shy about discussing your expectations and challenges in the bedroom.
It's not a topic that's easy to approach without embarrassment, but tools that are used in other situations can be applied. Be open and honest in communication, and be resolved when confronting and eliminating conflicts.
In the meantime, men should take heed. There may be a tigress in your bedroom, and it's about time you asked her if her appetite is being sated.
