SO, AFTER eight years of playing a happy English family, Madonna and Guy Ritchie are going their separate transatlantic ways.
Apparently, one of the reasons the marriage broke up was that the Material Girl wouldn't share her mountains of cash, leaving "poor" Guy to foot all the bills - lock, stock and barrel. Or was it the other way around?
You'd think that with US$525 million (S$770 million) in her bank and US$35 million in his, there'd be no need to quarrel over who paid for popcorn at the movies.
It just goes to show that in marriages, it's not the size of bank accounts that matters; it's the attitude that accompanies the bank accounts.
Because, if you take away a few hundred million pounds, screaming crowds and a Scottish castle (oh, and a pointy bra or two), let's face it, Maddie and Guy could be you or me.
Dual-career couple, frequent and prolonged separations due to work, arguments over different extra-curricular interests, resentment over money issues, young kids to bring up... Sound familiar?
One thing's for sure: Marriage isn't for wimps. There's something about marriage that, by definition, requires two people to give up "mine" and "yours" in order to create an "ours".
And that's not an easy call to make in an age that celebrates individual achievement and self-interest.
From childhood, we are encouraged to compete fiercely for success, recognition and material rewards, only to suddenly find these principles ill-suited to marriage.
Perhaps that's why it's not uncommon these days to find couples who keep their financial resources secret, who fall out over divergent career demands, or who find it too hard to compromise their careers and personal goals to have children.
The sad thing is that where children are involved in marriages gone bad, they, in turn, may be scared of making a commitment to marriage in adulthood.
Or, with no other pattern to follow, their marriages may trace the same path as their parents', with two individuals straining against each other instead of working together.
In my case, after 121/2 years of marriage and two children, I'm still in the process of finding out how tough it really is for a die-hard self-achiever to change a "me" perspective into an "us".
Even as a full-time mother, I sometimes fall into the trap of transferring my personal ambitions from career to family, instead of just enjoying the privilege of spending time with two bright, loving children and an understanding husband.
I used to dwell on the personal "sacrifices" I was making as a wife and mum, until I realised this: You have to give up some things in order to build something bigger, better and more lasting than you could ever achieve on your own.
I don't intend to stay at home forever, especially after my children become more independent.
But I know that if I do re-enter the workforce, it will be with the added strength of a loving and supportive family of my own, unlike in the days of my early career. And that's something neither money nor fame can buy.
Good marriages and happy families are worth making compromises for. Now, I hope Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt feel the same way.
myp@sph.com.sg
The author is a freelance writer and editor who lives in an HDB estate in the north of Singapore. She worked in the financial sector for 10 years before taking a break to be a full-time mum to two young boys.
