I am 45 years old and I got married in 1999.

My wife is 42 years old and we have two children. We had trouble conceiving in the first year but after consulting doctors at KK, I was given some supplements with high minerals to improve my sperm count. Things worked out and my wife got pregnant.

Lately, I feel that I don't have the same urge for sex as before. My wife seems interested but I feel tired after a long day at work and only want to retire to bed quickly.

I also find that my erections are not too good. I do feel that this has to do with my many sexual encounters with other women during my younger days. Thinking of sex with my wife does not thrill me anymore.

Is there some sort of food or energy boosting product which I can consume to boost my sex drive?

-Kumar

Dr Fong replies:

What you have described as a 'slackening' sex drive is not uncommon among men who are above 45. A combination of factors could contribute to this. One of the main factors in Singapore is stress, which can occur both at work and at home.

At your age, you probably have more responsibilities compared to someone who is young and has just entered your workplace, for example. When you are home, your priorities change and your kids take up your time. This leaves you with little energy at the end of the day. So, it's no wonder you want to retire to bed early!

Many couples find a better sex drive when they are away on their own on a holiday. Why not take a short break and recharge?

It is also important to note that the both of you have been together for about 7 years and perhaps the familiarity you have no longer brings about the same level of surprise and 'stimulation' as in a new couple. Why not try changing your schedule once in a way or try something new with your wife, like watching DVDs?

The next factor is probably age and all of us slow down somewhat with age. Our energy levels and metabolic rates are not the same as before and also testosterone levels have a slow decline.

A good mix of regular exercise and a healthy diet will help improve energy levels and increase metabolic rate. At present, there is no food that has been scientifically proven to enhance sexual prowess. Of course there is folklore about certain foods but none of these have been verified medically and excessive use may even be detrimental. Alcohol and smoking should be cut down at least if not avoided.

If you really feel that there is still a problem, then perhaps it is best to seek some medical help.

Some common conditions that could affect performance include diabetes, hypertension, renal or liver illnesses. A hormone test could also be done to check if testosterone levels are on the decline. Supplementing with testosterone should be implemented with caution and only in those who have low levels, as excessive intake can lead to an increase in risk of prostate cancer.

Last but not least, some people might benefit from drugs that help to increase blood flow to the penis for those who might have erection problems.

Got a question on your reproductive health? Email it to us at Just Woman and we will get by Dr Fong Yoke Fai, a consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist at the National University Hospital.