If your husband cheated on you, would you forgive him to save the marriage?

The answer may seem obvious: Why stay with a man who cannot be faithful? But there are also cases of women who have forgiven their men, and stayed on in the marriage even after knowing about their husbands' straying ways. In some instances, a few have closed their eyes even after their husbands were repeatedly unfaithful.

A well-known example: Hillary Clinton and husband Bill Clinton.

The US Senator decided to stick by her man while he was on trial for his infamous affair with that White House intern, Monica Lewinsky. Her reason for staying: "No one understands me better and no one can make me laugh the way Bill does."

Simply Her talks to two women and a psychologist on how they would cope and the reasons for a wife's decision to stay or leave:

If your man strayed, would you give him another chance?

Jesslyn Wong, 33, senior manager: I used to think I wouldn't. But I realised I may not have such strength, especially since we have two kids. I'd find out the reason for his betrayal. If it happened in a moment of foolishness and there's no love between my husband and the other woman, and he shows he's genuinely sorry and willing to change, I'd consider staying. I'd forget, but it would be difficult for me to trust him again.

Angie Han, 29, senior officer: My husband is a pilot and he spends up to 12 days overseas at a time. Since we have two young children, I would evaluate the situation based on the bigger picture. After all, he's the father of my two children and he's a caring father. Still it would be pointless to carry on if he refuses to give up the other relationship.

Geraldine Tan, 29, registered psychologist: There is a clear distinction in the decision depending on whether kids are involved. After marriage and before children, it's about betrayal. If you have children, you have to consider the family as a whole unit, so it's common for the wife to blame herself for her husband's affair. Even so, she may hang onto the hope that he cares for the children. Separation and divorce is the last resort.

Would a one-night stand be any different from a year-long affair?

Angie Han: Yes, a year-long affair means he had feelings for the other party. A one-night stand can happen because he's drunk or something, so that's easier to forgive.

What warning signs would tell you he's having an affair?
Geraldine Tan: Most women will notice a change in attitude - why is he unhappy with me? Why is he shouting? It is important to keep up the communication, about how an action makes you or him uncomfortable and letting each other know what you are happy or unhappy about.

What if it happens to you?
Geraldine Tan, a psychologist at the Centre for Effective Living at Camden Medical Centre, has these pointers before you decide on your course of action:
1) Are you willing to hear his side of the story?
2) Are you willing to accept his answer?
3) Are you prepared if he says he wants out, or that he wants to stay in the marriage?
4) How willing are you to try and work through the issues?
5) Are you ready to handle the rumours and/or advice of friends and family?
6) Where do you want the relationship to go?

Sitting down for a talk will help you decide where you want the relationship to go.

For the full article, get your copy of Her World, January 2008 issue for newsstands today.