- Don't underdress. The dress code is there for a reason. Jeans and polo tees for men are no-go at banquets. A smart casual dress code demands at least a short-sleeved buttoned-up shirt, khaki pants and shoes. Mini skirts and spaghetti strapped tank tops are out too.

- Don't overdress either. A real-life horror story: A bridesmaid once wore an evening gown with a plunging neckline to the wedding dinner and stole the bride's thunder. Remember, this is the couple's day, so upstaging them is bad manners.

- Don't gossip. Especially not about the newlyweds' dating history. There is no need to dredge up old - and embarrassing - stories about ex-es.

- Don't be a cheapskate. The only thing you should take home from a wedding is the wedding favour. Table decorations and floral arrangements are not part of the deal, unless the hosts offer them to you.

- We repeat, don't be a cheapskate. A general rule of thumb is to try to cover the cost of your own dinner. On average, dinner at a five-star hotel would cost about $120 per head but the experts were quick to add that a guest should give within his or her financial means.

- Do send your well wishes even if you can't attend the wedding. Make time to meet the couple before their wedding in person and give them a small gift or hongbao.

- Do be punctual. There are usually two timings on a wedding invite - for the cocktail and the dinner. You may skip the cocktail but do turn up on time for dinner. It is the host's prerogative as to when the dinner actually starts. A well-mannered guest should still be on time no matter what.

- Do introduce yourself to your neighbours. After you've made yourself comfortable at your table, introduce yourself to the people sitting to your left and right. A good conversation starter is: "Are you a friend of the bride or groom?"

- Do turn your phone off. Don't be that annoying gnat whose phone goes off as the couple are exchanging vows, or the anti-social SMS freak whose fingers seem stuck to the phone. karentee@sph.com.sg

Tips were from Audrey Quek, founder of Audrey Quek Image Consultancy; Teo Ser Lee, founder and director of etiquette and image consultancy Protocol Academy; and Joshua Luke, executive trainer at Signature Image Academy International.

This article was first published in Urban, The Straits Times on July 31, 2008.