There is some truth to this, and advanced social artists can make this work for them.
However, the vast majority of studies tell us that lovers are drawn to partners with similar attitudes, values, and interests.
So the more accurate cliche is, 'Birds of a feather flock together'.
Now here's one for you girls.
You probably already know that you get closer with your girlfriends through talking and sharing secrets and vulnerabilities.
But the studies show that men bond through common experiences and doing activities together.
Most women forget this crucial difference. When they suggest a first date with a guy, they think of a place where they can talk and get to know each other. This is bonding, but female-style.
Regular readers of this column will recall an earlier article in which I recommended as a low-pressure first date simply taking a girl to a chill lounge or hip cafe.
Notice that this sort of setting is more conducive to bonding with women. Male bonding, though, does NOT consist of sitting across a table looking deeply into each other's eyes while discussing your feelings.
For girls trying to snare that dream guy, there's a better way.
First find out what hobbies, interests, and activities he enjoys and then suggest that you do that together. He will think on a subconscious level, 'This woman fits in with my lifestyle.'
Maybe you will be bored to tears at the football game, badminton match, or the auto race. But if that's his passion and you want to become his passion too, it's your best bet for a great first date.
This article was first published in The New Paper on Oct 26, 2008.
