Her husband cheated on her repeatedly for three years. She forgave him but he went back to his womanising ways when she was pregnant with their second son.

Then, Jane (not her real name), a 39-year-old accounts executive, was determined to divorce him. Yet the mother of two is still married to the same man today.

The Singaporean woman's plight comes as cases of loyal wives forgiving their unfaithful husbands have been in international headlines lately.

Take the chief of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), Dominique Strauss-Kahn, 59. His wife, Anne Sinclair, has publicly stood by him: He had a sexual relationship with a female employee who left with a payoff in August and he is now under investigation for allegedly abusing his position.

In February, ex-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's tryst with a 22-year-old hooker was exposed, yet his wife Silda Wall has been his bulwark during the resulting media circus there.

Marriage counsellors in Singapore say people here stand by their cheating spouses too.

Jane, who sleeps in a separate bedroom with her children, says: 'I pretend everything is okay when our relatives and friends are around. I'm quietly suffering inside.'

Marriage counsellors say there are a variety of reasons for staying in a bad marriage.

For example, those overseas wives of scandal-tainted politicians may want to keep up appearances with a canny eye to retaining future political viability: translation, hanging on to the pay and perks.

Consultant psychiatrist Dr Adrian Wang says that for the wives in those foreign scandals, 'there is a public image to maintain. While things may seem calm on the surface, it does not mean there is no inner turmoil'.

Then there are those in Jane's situation: She withdrew her divorce petition because she did not have enough savings to support her children on her own.

Senior counsellor Anna Maria Low of Care Corner Family Service Centre (Queenstown) tells LifeStyle: 'Some stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children. Others believe a marriage is made for life and a minority view divorce as a taboo.'

A 34-year-old housewife, who wanted to be known as Mary, is sticking by her adulterous husband, a businessman in his 30s. The couple do not have any children.

She is quick to add: 'I am not with my husband because he provides everything. Despite his faults, I love him. I believe the affairs will not amount to anything.

'One day he will realise his mistakes.'

To help betrayed spouses deal with their emotions, Care Corner runs an annual New Rainbow Programme. It consists of three support groups of five and eight participants who meet for six sessions.

It is a long healing process that can take months or years.

Ms Low says: 'The betrayed party goes through various stages of grief from denial, anger and then acceptance. Some who attend the group may have recently discovered their spouses' affairs, others found out a few years ago.'

To repair the marriage, both parties must be willing to address the issues that have contributed to infidelity, adds pyschotherapist Ang Thiam Hong of Edora Counselling Services.

Out of 180 such cases Edora - a four-year-old private counselling practice - sees a year, about 90 per cent want the marriage to work. But there are others who call it quits without seeking professional help, says Dr Wang.

And there are probably many such as Jane who deal with their emotions alone. Her 44-year-old husband, who is in sales, refuses to see a counsellor.

She says: 'I have a lot of hurt, anger and sadness. There are many issues that we have not resolved and he is not making any effort to make things right.'

Not all, though, stray for sex like Jane's husband. Some blame their wives' domineering personality. Others are driven to adultery because their spouses have little time for them.

One of them is a musician in his 30s, who cheated on his wife of five years last year. The father of a four-year-old daughter says: 'I love my wife dearly. I became emotionally attached to another woman whom I spent more time with.'

He recalls: 'My wife probably suspected that I was having an affair. She asked me who I was going out with every night. But she never confronted me.

'She suggested that we should spend more time together.'

John ended his fling after three months.

Jane on the other hand, did not merely rely on dropping hints to end her husband's affair and protect her marriage.

She took matters into her own hands: In 2005, she tailed her husband's lover, a Chinese national, and found out that the 34- year-old woman was in Singapore on a student pass and working here illegally.

The angry wife reported the woman to the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority and got her deported.

Jane says: 'I didn't want her to contact my husband again. I wanted her out of our lives.'

Others hire private eyes to spy on their spouses. And in the last two years, more are doing so.

LJ Investigation Consultancy Services has handled 25 to 30 adultery cases annually in the last two years - a 20 per cent spike from 2005, says private investigator Lionel de Souza.

At DP Quest Investigators, adultery cases have doubled to 20 a month in the two last years, says private eye David Ng.

And there are as many unfaithful wives as cheating husbands.

Mr de Souza tells LifeStyle: 'Nearly half of the 14 cases we have handled this year involved trailing adulterous wives.'

It is not known if these couples reconcile as private investigators generally do not follow up after their services are rendered.

But the number of divorces and annulments is on the rise. It went up from two cases per thousand residents in 2006 to 2.02 last year, according to a Statistics on Marriages & Divorces 2007 report.

Adultery and infidelity were among the main reasons cited for grounds for divorce for non-Muslims and Muslims respectively, it said.

Litigation lawyer Sarbrinder Singh says the number of marriages wrecked by adultery could be higher, as some may choose the less expensive way - divorcing on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, that covers improper association. The submission of a private investigator's report is not required, unlike for adultery.

Divorce is the extreme option, however - many wish to keep the marriage intact, but several issues can hinder reconciliation.

Mr Ang of Edora observes: 'Sometimes, friends and family with strong views of infidelity encourage them to leave the cheating spouses. It doesn't help when the betrayed party starts playing 'policewoman', monitoring the other party's movements unnecessarily.'

Counsellors say the road to recovery takes time, patience and understanding.

Ms Low adds: 'It's not impossible to move on if the guilty party takes responsibility for his actions and seeks forgiveness from the spouse, children and extended family and when both are willing to rebuild their trust together.'

This article was first published in The Sunday Times on Oct 26, 2008.