ABANDONING a child may be the end of the story for the parent. But, for the child, the hurt of having been deserted could last a long time.

Counsellors said that children who grow up knowing they were once abandoned could end up developing emotional problems.

Said school counsellor Ian Poulier: 'Growing up, the child may feel rejection and have low self-esteem if he or she learns about the abandonment.'

He added that many parents who adopt such children do not tell them about how they were found until they are older and are able to come to terms with the information.

Family therapist David Kan said the child's sense of identity, security and significance could be affected.

FEELINGS OF INSIGNIFICANCE

'Every person wants to know who he or she is and why he or she is on this earth. Knowing that he or she was abandoned can affect a child's sense of physical and emotional security and significance,' he said.

'Such children could grow up thinking that, as they were abandoned at birth, they therefore do not matter much in life.'

Mr Kan, 42, co-founder and executive director of the Family Life Centre, said such feelings could lead to an inferiority complex which can in turn lead the child to emotional extremes.

'The child may become passive, reclusive and withdrawn, over-active or reactive. The knowledge of having been abandoned may adversely affect a child's sense of acceptance. He might resort to these emotional and behavioural extremes as a way of seeking attention and acceptance,' he said.

'But if the child is placed in a loving and supportive foster care environment, he can develop normally.'

In the latest case, fear was probably the main reason for abandoning the baby, said MrPoulier, 42.

He guessed that the pregnancy was most likely out of wedlock.

'The baby's mother was probably feeling guilty and fearful of being found out, ostracised or stigmatised,' he said.

'These would have been the dominant emotions and she may have done the act without giving it much thought.'

Mr Poulier said the baby's mother could have called pregnancy crisis hotlines or visited family service centres and medical social workers to get help. (See above.)

A Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) spokesman said mothers can avoid abandoning their babies by seeking help with the National Pregnancy Helpline, the Babes Network and Sanctuary House.

She said these agencies carry out public awareness programmes, counselling and provide shelters for unwed mothers and assistance in adoption placement.

Sanctuary House is a volunteer welfare organisation that places babies in loving family environments and offers crisis pregnancy services.

But Mr Kan said: 'Besides the stigma of an illegitimate child, the person who abandoned the baby may not have been financially, emotionally or mentally prepared for the responsibility of being a parent or caregiver.

'He or she would not have sought help even if it were available because disclosure would have been necessary, and he or she wanted to hide evidence of the birth.'

GET HELP

National Pregnancy Helpline 18006868623

Babes Teens SMS Helpline 81113535

Child Protection and Welfare Service at MCYS 18002586378

Sanctuary House hotline 98170588

Family Life Centre hotline 68462061