HE was a 7-year-old who did not want to go to school.

So what did his mother do? She hauled him to Juvenile Court to seek a Beyond Parental Control (BPC) order.

The example was provided by Dr Carol Balhetchet, director of the Singapore Children's Society, to show how some parents were too quick to hand over their parenting duties to thecourts.

Other reasons for taking their children to the Juvenile Court included not studying for examinations, not doing homework and playing truant for just one day.

Dr Balhetchet said the 7-year-old's mother took him to court last year just because he was not listening to her and did not want to go to school.

While she could not recall all the details, she said the boy was tiny and the moment he went in and saw so many adults around him, he began crying.

'He was simply too young,' Dr Balhetchet told The New Paper.

She said that BPC children are usually 11 years old and above.

She said: 'The mother had been threatening him, saying that if he didn't listen to her, she would call the police.

'But after a while, he realised these were just empty threats.

'At her wit's end, the mother took him to court and threatened him by saying that he would be sent to a boy's home.

'The mother's relationship with the child was one of screaming, shouting and nagging. Even at the courts she was scolding him, 'you see, you see, don't listen to me'.

'She was using the court to threaten the child on the mildest of issues.'

The case was eventually referred to a family service centre.

But this woman is not the only parent to resort to the court with relatively minor parenting problems.

Every Friday between 1.30pm and 5.30pm, Dr Balhetchet sees an average of 25 cases, of which only about four are slapped with a BPC order.

These children undergo court proceedings and are usually sent to boys' and girls' homes.

Some cases are referred to family service centres, further counselling or other programmes.

Most cases are dismissed.

In 2006, the Juvenile Court received 658complaints and 346 were dismissed.

The figures for last year are not yet available. But it has been a trend since 2001 that most cases end up being dismissed.

So are some parents giving up on their children too soon?

Dr Balhetchet thinks so.

NOT TRYING ENOUGH

She believes that these parents are not trying hard enough to nurture their relationship with their children.

It is not uncommon for parents to use the court to scare their children, she said.

'Maybe out of 10 cases, two or three are just trying to scare the child by taking him to court.'

Contrary to popular belief, most of these children come from intact families.

She said this appals her both as a parent and a counsellor.

'Both the child and the parent try to raise the ante against each other instead of resolving the situation.'

Dr Balhetchet said that 'just being their parents' does not mean the children will listen to them.

'They must respect and look up to you.'

Other social workers from the Children's Society who attend Juvenile Court agree that some parents turn to the court too easily.

Ms Joy Lim, 28, and Ms Lee Hwee Nah, 31, said parents should try alternative methods, such as counselling, first.

Ms Lee said: 'There is a high chance that sustained counselling will help mild cases of truancy and rude behaviour.'

Some parents like Madam Linda (not her real name) agree.

Madam Linda took her daughter to court in 2006 for misbehaving and not listening to her parents.

The parents didn't try counselling but took her straight to court and she was sent to a girl's home.

It has been more than a year since she came out, but, in hindsight, Madam Linda feels counselling might have prevented the problems from worsening and perhaps her girl need not have been remanded in a home.

However, others feel that the court provides 'good punishment'.

Madam Arvinda (not her real name) took her younger son to court last year for playing truant.

'He would go missing for days,' she said.

He was sent to a boy's home and came out a few months ago.

'He has changed a lot since. He now knows how it feels inside a boy's home and he doesn't misbehave, tells me where he is going, doesn't stay out late and sleeps peacefully.'

Madam Arvinda said her elder son was also giving her similar problems.

'But he is 17 years old and I was told that he could not be tried in the Juvenile Court. He has committed no offence, so nothing can be done about him.'

She said he was a bad influence on her younger son.

Before taking the latter to court, she had tried talking to him and even got counsellors to speak to him.

'He would be okay for a while but then he would return to his old ways.

'Counselling is not that helpful because the kids are still outside and can continue doing what they do. They cannot compare the outside with the inside of a home.'

This article was first published in The New Paper on Mar 19, 2008.