You should prepare your child - and yourself - for his first day at playschool, say professionals in childhood development, as this first experience can lay the foundation for future development.

Dr Melinda Eng, general manager of The Little Skool-House International, said a positive playschool experience can help the child in many ways including boosting his adaptability, sociability and self-confidence.

MYB spoke to professionals for advice on how parents can prepare their kids for this important yet stressful first step.

Separation Anxiety

The most common problem children face on the first day at school is the anxiety of losing contact with their primary caregiver, said early education programmes specialist Mrs Denise Lai, director of Wee Care, Singapore.

The mother of three said positive talk said this explains why the child cries during separation.

The tears, said Mrs Lai, who is also a mother of three, reflect a need for reassureance, which can be given your child.

"The greater the understanding that ?Mummy will always come back to take me home?, the more likely the child will be able to relax," she said.

Fears can be allayed by explaining to the child that these emotions are natural and that going to school is part of growing up. The positive aspects, like how it is enjoyable and how friendships can be made can be raised too.

More fun options include story-telling and games.

Stories about going to school for the first time can be illustrated or played out using puppets, with the sequence of "hello" and "goodbye" emphasised. Mrs Preman Komala, principal curriculum specialist at NTUC Childcare, recommended titles like See You Later, Alligator by Laura McGee Kvasnosky, Will You Come Back For Me? by Ann Tompert and Amanda Pig, Schoolgirl by Jean Van Leeuwen. These can be found in major bookshops and libraries.

Games that reinforce the parents' absence as being only temporary, such as hide-and-seek, can also help, said Dr Eng.

Baby steps

The transition from home to school environment is big. To help your child cope with this, elements of school can be introduced, in baby steps, weeks before school starts.

Getting a trusted relative to baby-sit occasionally helps your child to get used to your absence even before he goes to school, Dr Eng suggested.

You could then get him to leave the comfort of home and introduce him to new friends and social settings such as the playground, she added.

Familiarising your child with the activities of school by introducing them at home can also help, said Mrs Komala. "A child used to scribbling with crayons will find it comforting to discover the same crayons in school."

School structures and rules also need adjusting to.

Mrs Komala suggested introducing routines such as "story time" after lunch or "quiet time" after play time or, even better, adopt a schedule similar to the playschool's.

Rules are both disciplinary and social. Besides basic discipline such as keeping silent, imparting social values such as politeness and generosity can help the child when it comes to forming relationships, she said.

As the first day nears, Dr Lily Wong, an early childhood education consultant at children and family studies centre Advent Links-SAUC, suggested taking the child to explore the school and meet the teachers.

Attachment

But perhaps the strongest help is a healthy parent-child bond.

Dr Wong, who has done extensive research on early child development, believes such a bond is central to a child's life.

"It is the basis of a child's self-esteem and self-confidence which allows him to deal with new environments," she explained.

A close bond is developed through spending quality time together and constantly meeting the child's needs. "It does not mean spoiling the child," she said.

"The key is authority with understanding, limits and responsibility."

This article was first published in Mind Your Body, The Straits Times on Apr 16, 2008.