Can you really juggle motherhood with a career?

In this twin quest to get more working women to have children and more mothers back into the workforce, employers have the biggest parts to play.

How? Simply by exercising flexibility.

The Working Mothers Forum survey of 1,000 mothers found that 36 per cent of them think that the employers can make the most difference in this national conundrum in helping working mothers cope effectively with motherhood and career. (23 per cent of them look to the Government for a positive difference.)

As vice-chairman of the forum Cheryl Liew put it: We have to move away from our culture of face time to one where performance is measured by outcomes and output.

That struck a chord with me.

Just seven years back, when I found out that I was pregnant with my first child, I thought my career was over.

Then a 26-year-old reporter, I had barely earned my journalist stripes and there were still frontiers I wanted to explore.

I couldn't see how I would be able to juggle my then 12-hour work days with the needs of a young child.

So I stalled for time. I requested for additional months of unpaid leave, on top of maternity leave.

Returning to work though, was a bit of a shock.

I found I could no longer simply throw myself into my work and emerge past nightfall, oblivious to the time.

I suddenly had someone else's schedules to keep to and his welfare to consider.

I felt guilty for being away from my young son and I was tired from the lack of uninterrupted sleep.

I was neither giving the best of myself to work, nor to my child.

Near the end of my tether, I thought bleakly of bailing out of work.

Then, advice came from a senior editor that it did not have to be an either-or situation.

So I joined The New Paper where I could get some amount of flexibility and yet, grow as a journalist.

Now, six years and two more kids later, I'd say this: I soldiered bravely on my motherhood path and had more children mostly because I had editors and supervisors who gave me the liberty of working flexible hours, who looked not at how much time I clocked, but the work that I did.

(Not forgetting of course, supportive parents and a husband who pulled his weight at home.)

My employers granted me the indulgence of taking extra leave to nurture my children, past the tender and difficult first year of their lives, thus easing the way for subsequent childcare arrangements.

PRIVILEGE

Indeed, to be given some slack is by no means permission to slack off. It is a privilege, to be exercised with responsibility and care.

I've come to realise that life is not a sprint where I meet my mothering demands over just a certain period, and where there are stop-gap measures for the other part of my life (i.e. work).

It's about finding a balance between competing demands, and finding contentment in the choices I make.

At the end of the day, if you wanted to scale to the very top of your career then, it is also likely you won't be there to witness your children's first steps, to catch them when they flounder or fall.

Conversely though, it does not mean that if you wanted to be there for them and their crucial moments, you would have to sacrifice the work that you thrive on and your income.

Over the years, I have been able to find fulfilment in both work and motherhood.

Sure, the pace of my career progress has no doubt been slower than those of my peers. But at least, I've got one.

This article was first published in The New Paper on Aug 5, 2008.