BEIJING: A retired university professor who has spent the past two years "shopping" for a wife for his son is not giving up.
Mr Liu, 65, whom The Straits Times first interviewed two years ago, still makes regular trips to Yuyuantan Park in western Beijing to meet other parents hunting for a suitable match for their son or daughter.
Of the three parents, including Mr Liu, whom this reporter met at an "outdoor matchmaking meeting" in a Beijing park in July 2006, only one had found a husband for her daughter.
Madam Chen said she found the match while "browsing resumes" during a park meet. Her daughter got married a year ago, she said when this newspaper caught up with her this week.
Mr Liu and the third parent, Madam Zhang, have had no such luck. None of the resumes put up by other parents caught their eye as the advertised qualifications did not match those of their university-educated sons.
All three refused to reveal their full names because their children do not know what they have been up to, they said.
"They would be furious if they found out we have been poking our noses into their affairs," said Mr Liu, whose 35-year-old son is also a university professor. When he finds a potential candidate, he tells his son that a friend gave him the contact, Mr Liu confided.
At the parks, parents looking for prospective sons-in-law or daughters-in-law turn up armed with home-made posters, handwritten notes and laminated placards which they display on the ground, tape to tree trunks, or even wear around their necks.
These "personal advertisements" contain their children's credentials such as jobs and salaries. Some throw in statistics such as height, weight, zodiac sign, blood type and even languages spoken. The most earnest ones prepare albums of their child's most photogenic snapshots.
Parents wander around the outdoor "marriage market", sizing each other up as they chat, pausing to scrutinise resumes. They discuss their children's achievements and ultimately try to make a worthy match.
These meetings take place regularly in at least four large parks around Beijing, and also in other large cities including Shanghai, Tianjin, Hangzhou, Chongqing, Nanjing and Shenzhen, local media reports said. On weekends, it can draw thousands of parents.
It is believed that the gatherings were started in 2004 by a group of middle-aged parents who met in a park during their morning exercises.
The park meetings spring from a growing trend in China in which young adults are postponing marriage.
Traditionally, Chinese families relied on village matchmakers. Then under the communist government, unions were sanctioned - and sometimes arranged - by "work units" for their employees.
Today, the search is fuelled by personal choice and increasingly affluent and well-educated Chinese are choosing to delay marriage or not to marry at all, preferring to put their careers first.
State media said that there are about one million single men and women in Beijing and Shanghai, with a population of some 17 million and 18 million respectively. Women in particular are delaying marriage. The average age of a Chinese bride has risen from 20 in 1990 to 24 in 2004.
Parents say they are resorting to the park gatherings because their children seem to be leading increasingly isolated lives.
"Aiyah, these days, young people go to office, work all day in a cubicle, spend all their time and energy on building their careers. They rarely get to socialise, not like in our days when our state-run work units organised lots of social events for us," said Madam Zhang, whose son is an executive in a multinational software firm.
He spent seven years in Japan before returning to Beijing two years ago. Now 34 and still unattached, he is driving his mother crazy with anxiety.
When asked if she thought the park meetings would take off in Singapore, Madam Zhang admits that even in China, this method might not be the best way to find a spouse for young singles.
But she thinks the gatherings should stay as "it is better to have one more avenue, rather than not have it at all".
A straw poll of 10 singles by The Straits Times showed that six were against their parents playing Cupid.
Ms Priscilla Guo, 32, who works in a non-governmental organisation, was adamant: "No way, why should I leave such an important personal decision to anyone other than myself?"
Mr Zhang Zhihua, 36, was more open to the idea. "Why not? They are my parents and I know they mean well," said the state- owned enterprise employee.
Given a choice, most would opt to sign up with an Internet dating website or have friends do the introductions, they said.
Still, some parents like Mr Liu are not willing to leave something as important as marriage entirely up to their children.
Asked why he persists with his clandestine park outings, he said: "You grow up, you get married, you have kids. This is Chinese tradition, this is how it has been, and this is how it should continue to be. I'm just lending a helping hand."
ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY FENG YUN IN BEIJING
This article was first published in The Straits Times on Aug 23, 2008.
