Name: Teo Cheng Wee (above)
Age: 29
Event: First Impression by Romancing Singapore
Format: The same as for Michelle

One thing you quickly notice about speed dating is how everyone keeps justifying that it's perfectly normal to be there.

"It's okay what, we're just here to make friends." I think that statement was probably repeated at least 20 times throughout the night.

It doesn't matter that speed dating is practically mainstream these days. The point is, we need to reassure everyone that we are here because we want to broaden our social circles - not because we are desperate, since any sign of desperation will drive all potential dates away.

And this is just one of many tasks we need to juggle when we go speed dating. While we need to show that we are just "making friends", let's not kid ourselves. Deep down inside we are hoping that we can meet a possible future partner as well.

Yet, as if one doesn't have enough pressure, First Impression ups the ante. It requires the participants to rate everyone whom they talk to on four counts: physical appearance, dress sense, personality and sense of humour.

Those who score in the top 50 per cent go on to the next round, where they will meet other people who emerged in the top half of their own dates.

So you will either feel like America's Next Top Model or some sorry reject who just got his torch snuffed out in Survivor. It sure is stressful being single in this town.

So stressful that I think three people decided it was too much for their hearts and were no-shows on the night.

Having said that, I thought this was a good opportunity to get an objective snapshot of how women view me, since I have always resorted to arm-twisting my friends to say that I'm charming, funny and I colour-coordinate my clothes perfectly.

On the night itself, I approached the pub at the Red Dot Design Museum with both a feeling of excitement and trepidation. What should I ask? What should we talk about? What if they think my blazer is too showy?

But once it started, I almost forgot that there was a competition going on. I think when you start meeting people and realise that you have less than 10 minutes to chat, the last thing on your mind is beating the other guys. You just want to try to find out as much about the girl as you can.

While I said I was a journalist, I didn't say I was on an assignment in case it should affect how they reacted towards me.

Yet the night didn't get off to a good start.

The first woman I spoke to, a marketing manager who looked like she was in her early 30s, seemed bored halfway into our conversation and her eyes started darting elsewhere.

Oh my goodness, I thought to myself, I can't even hold someone's attention for a few minutes.

I seemed to fare better with the second one, a secretary who at least maintained eye contact throughout our 10 minutes. But she wasn't interested enough to ask me any questions and seemed a bit too chirpy with her "Goodbye!" at the end.

Half-time and I was already 2-0 down.

But it wasn't all a lost cause. The next two women seemed more interested and the last one, who worked as a policewoman, made me feel really comfortable. I thought it was interesting that a woman would want to put on a uniform and learn to fire a gun - and wasn't even some gruff-looking GI Jane. She looked simply like a girl next door.

"Sometimes, part of police work is simply to listen to people who want to vent their frustrations," she told me. I thought that was really sweet.

When the night drew to a close, I went away thinking that it wasn't as bad as I thought. Never mind if the score was 1-4, it was the "1" that mattered.

And there was to be a bigger surprise the next day - it turned out that the women voted me tops in the final rankings. Either they were even less interested in the other guys or I have much to learn when it comes to reading a woman's signals.

As for the women, I chose to keep in touch with only the policewoman and we have had a few e-mail and Facebook exchanges.

If that develops beyond friendship, great. But if not, I'm glad to have met someone outside my social circle. After all, we're just here to make friends, right?

This article was first published in Urban, The Straits Times on Feb 14, 2008.

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