LEFT in the care of her relatives at birth. A runaway at age 14.

An unwed mother by 15, having a second baby at 18, and pregnant again at 19.

The story of Sarah (not her real name) provides a peek into the sad, desperate world of young women coping with unwanted pregnancies.

Some end up abandoning their babies.

Their stories also reflect what is called technical abandonment, where parents 'give up' their babies and place them in the care of relatives or agencies till the mothers figure out whether to give up the baby for adoption.

Sarah found herself alone at birth, when her parents were jailed.

She moved in with her relatives, who raised her until she was 14.

After an argument, she moved out and lived with friends and acquaintances.

To survive, she became a prostitute.

All this time, her parents never contacted her.

MUM AT 15

By 15, Sarah became pregnant with her first child, but gave it up for adoption once it was born.

She got pregnant again at 18, but decided to keep her second child after seeking help from counsellors from the Sanctuary House.

Sarah's case was referred to the centre by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) last April.

Sanctuary House is a charity which provides support for crisis pregnancy cases and emergency infant-care in the first few crucial months and works with other agencies to help single mothers with unwanted pregnancies.

It handles cases of technical abandonment - where mothers are not sure whether they want to give up their baby - and emergency cases.

These include cases where a mother may have to be hospitalised and is unable to care for her child.

In 2005, Sanctuary House handled four cases. In 2006, it was 14. Last year, it saw 16 cases.

Sarah is among the 15 per cent of mums who sought help there who chose to take back their babies.

The rest opted for adoption.

The charity's co-founder, Mr Noel Tan, told The New Paper that Sarah never thought about abandoning her baby, but she felt hopeless and desperate about her situation.

This was unlike a case last week, in which a baby boy was found abandoned in front of a Sikh temple.

That was believed to be the first case of an abandoned baby this year.

According to the MCYS, in 2005, there were five cases of abandonment (one was stillborn), in 2006, there were four (three found dead) and last year, there were three (one found dead).

Fortunately, Sarah's second baby did not suffer this fate.

After becoming pregnant with her second child - whose father was not willing to support the baby - Sarah was desperate for help.

EMOTIONAL

Said Mr Tan: 'She was extremely emotional and had a huge insecurity about her situation, but she was remorseful about it.

'She kept saying 'I hate my life' and said she was very tired of it all, and wanted to do something about it.'

When Sarah approached Sanctuary House , she did not have a stable job, husband or shelter.

Said Mr Tan: 'She had no familial support and getting financial assistance was tough because she was unmarried, a single mother and had no home.

'It was a depressing situation.'

And though Mr Tan had volunteers who could care for babies for a few months, he never saw Sarah's baby as she left it with her friends whenever she came to consult him.

Said Mr Tan: 'We walked her through what she needed to get a stable job and talked to her about assistance and making responsible choices.'

Working with two other agencies, he arranged for job interviews for her and one volunteer even gave her $200 monthly for her baby's diapers and food.

Sarah went for at least three of the five job interviews set up for her.

But she quit her office job within a month because she was not confident about working and not used to the hours.

Then, she met a man who was willing to care for her and her child and so she stopped seeking help, said Mr Tan.

He said: 'He had a stable job and she seemed happy. Her SMS replies to us were always positive.

'So we told her that the door is always open for her to call for help if she needed it.'

Some six months after she first came to the centre, she sent another SMS to the centre, saying she was pregnant with her third child.

But she reassured centre counsellors that she was all right.

Said Mr Tan: 'Sadly, most times, we do see a vicious circle, like in Sarah's case where she was an abandoned child.

'But what gives hope is that she is trying to work things out with her second and third child, though she gave up her first.'

He gives up high-flying career to care for unwanted babes

HE COULD have had a lucrative career in the oil industry but gave that up to found a charity.

Mr Noel Tan, 37, set up Sanctuary House in July 2005 with four others, including Mr Robert Tan who runs a travel firm and financial consultant Rose Siow.

It helps mothers who are facing what social workers call 'crisis pregnancies'.

The centre puts the women in touch with support services while they decide whether to keep their babies or give them up.

Cases are referred to Sanctuary House by MCYS and it works with other agencies like Tanjong Pagar Family Center and Rose Villa.

Mr Tan's first brush with an abandoned baby came in 2004 when his friend and co-founder, Ms Siow, was handed a baby.

A teenage student had asked her to look after an infant for a while. After two weeks, Ms Siow asked Mr Tan to help care for it as she had to travel.

Two more weeks passed, but the young mum never returned.

Ms Siow called the police and the teen mother, a China student, was eventually tracked down and sent home with her baby.

Mr Tan, who had been running parenting workshops with his wife since 2002, saw a need to help these young mums.

He said: 'At the end of the day, it's about the safety of the child.'

The father of three children, aged 2 to 10, said it was also a spiritual calling.

Since Sanctuary House was registered in July 2005, he and his wife have cared for 14 babies. The centre has 12 volunteers on standby to help take the babies in and care for them.

Of the cases, 15 per cent of the babies are claimed by their mothers. The rest are put up for adoption.

Despite knowing that some of these girls get into another unwanted pregnancy again, sometimes soon after they give birth, Mr Tan said neither he nor his volunteers are disillusioned.

He said: 'We don't preach or lecture but provide solutions. There is a baby to be cared for and someone has to make sure the best can be done for it.'

Sometimes they get calls from people who just don't know what to do.

He said: 'It is not as if they do not care about their babies, but they know they are stuck and they are looking for solutions.'

Unfortunately, not many come forward willingly because of the stigma, he noted.

DIFFICULT TIME

He said: 'It is a confusing time for them. It is about a loss of face here and they don't want to be judged.

'If there are not enough agencies or awareness of agencies like ours, many might resort to taking desperate measures that could endanger them or their babies.'

What will help - family bonding and fostering healthy family relationships.

After all, he said, dysfunctional family backgrounds have been a common thread among the cases. Many of the single mums were themselves born out of wedlock.

He felt that the long-term solution is both moral education and awareness of making socially responsible choices.

When asked if he misses the rat-race, he said: 'I don't think I can see myself back in it. There are some in this world who have more problems than others.

'It is very fulfilling to be on this side of humanity and be able to offer some help and hopefully make their lives a little easier.'

GET HELP

THERE are many agencies which conduct public awareness programmes, counselling, provide shelter for unwed mothers and help place babies.

The Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) urges anyone who is pregnant and troubled to seek help early.

• Child Protection and Welfare Service at MCYS 18002586378

• Sanctuary House 9817 0588 (call or SMS)

• National Pregnancy Helpline 1800-MUM-TO-BE: 18006868623 (24-hour telephone service)

• Babes - Teens SMS Helpline 81113535