By Ng Wan Ching

IF you want me to treat you as a wife and sleep with you, then kneel at the feet of these prostitutes, serve them drinks, cook for them and make them feel welcome.

That was what one woman's husband allegedly said to her, six months after they were married.

Madam Z, who is from India, was just 16 years old when she married a Singaporean and moved here with him in 1984.

It was the first time she had left her parents' home in Bombay (now known as Mumbai).

Hers was an arranged marriage.

And she never imagined she would hear her husband utter such words to her.

'After I came here, then I knew what kind of person he is. He is a drunk and a womaniser,' she said in an interview with The New Paper.

She reacted with outrage when she found two strange women in her rented HDB room soon after she arrived here.

'I threw them out. I asked them what they thought they were doing in my room,' she said.

But her husband allegedly retaliated by grabbing her hair and telling her to apologise to the women.

'He said I had to kneel down and grab their feet and say I was sorry. No other way was acceptable,' said the sad, small-sized woman, now 40, who has been at the Star Shelter since November 2006.

She did as she was told as she felt she had no choice.

NOWHERE TO TURN

She did not know anyone else in Singapore and she did not want to call home to tell her family what was going on.

On why she did not want to let them know, she said: 'If I am the only one who knows, only I suffer. If my family knows, they all suffer.'

Madam Z is one of an increasing numbers of foreign wives seeking to avoid their abusive husbands at the shelter run by the Singapore Council of Women's Organisations (SCWO).

In the last two years, among the women seeking help at the Star Shelter, 10 per cent have been foreign brides, said SCWO general manager Fazlin Abdullah.

It used to be just 4 to 5 per cent a year.

The shelter helps 70 to 80 women ayear.

'They come from India, China, Vietnam, the Philippines, Indonesia and even Australia,' said Ms Fazlin.

An Australian woman who stayed at the Star Shelter had come to Singapore with her husband, also an Australian, who had been posted here for work.

He allegedly abused her while they were living here.

'She had no one to turn to here, so she came to us,' said Ms Fazlin.

Madam Z is probably one of the longest staying women at the shelter, having been there for more than one-and-a-half years.

But she says she cannot move on with her life.

'I am still in shock about what has happened to me,' she said.

What happened after more than 20 years of high drama, emotional and physical abuse is that her husband has divorced her.

'He kept asking me to sign these papers in 2006. I said I didn't want to sign, I don't know what these papers are,' she said.

Though he wouldn't let her go through the papers, they would apparently hand him 100per cent of the assets the couple own, including a three-room HDB flat.

ALLEGED KNIFE INCIDENT

In one particularly violent confrontation with her husband, a neighbour allegedly saw him holding a knife to her throat in their flat.

'The neighbour called the police, the police came and I was referred to the Star Shelter,' said Madam Z.

Their case was heard in the Syariah Court and the judge ruled that they split the flat 70 per cent his way and 30per cent her way.

She and her husband were both dissatisfied with that ruling, she said.

'He wants 100 per cent, so he appealed. I am appealing for 50 per cent, even though it was my work that paid for it,' she said.

She claims that her husband never had a steady job.

'Many years ago, I saw him jobless and suffering, so I asked for some money from my parents and sold the jewellery my family had given me, to start a food stall,' she said.

She worked like a mule, morning, day and night, she said.

'I made lots of money. Lots of people liked my food. They said it reminded them of home-cooked food,' she said.

She would wake up at 4am to buy the food, prepare it, cook it, then she would sell and serve it till after dinner.

Then she would wash up and clean up, getting home only at midnight.

'I never hired any one to help me and my husband certainly didn't help me,' she said.

What she claims her husband did was to turn up at the shop and take money out of the kitty whenever he needed any.

'He told the court that he paid all the town council bills, the water and electricity bills, when actually, it was all from my hard work,' she said.

A few years ago, her husband fell seriously ill.

'Doctors here told me that there was no hope and that his liver was damaged from all the years of heavy drinking,' she said.

She stopped her business and took him to be treated in Malaysia.

And he recovered.

'UNGRATEFUL'

'I thought that when he found out what I have done to save him, he would change his ways,' she said.

But it did not happen, she said..

He served her divorce papers instead and wanted 100 per cent of everything.

'My spirit to work is gone. My life is ruined. We don't have children because he never wanted any, so I don't even have children to comfort me,' said Madam Z.

Now, her days are spent in a room that is filled with double decker beds and sleeps 11 others.

Hers mattress, on the lower bunk in a corner, is not covered with a sheet.

'I am a broken woman with a ruined life. I just want the courts here to give me what is rightfully mine,' she said.